These tips are from Dr. Albert J. Bernstein, a clinical psychologist with over 40 years of experience and the author of a number of great books on dealing with people problems. They are a summary of a more detailed blog post on How To Make Difficult Conversations Easy: 7 Steps From A Clinical Psychologist

  1. Keep calm.
  2. Treat’em like a child. You can’t talk them out of emotional outbursts and getting angry over it does nothing good. Ignore the drama.
  3. Say “Please speak more slowly. I’d like to help.” Slow it down. Don’t come off like you’re fighting back and if it’s on the phone, go quiet when they’ve finished ranting. It shocks them out of their angry state.
  4. Ask “What would you like me to do?” You gotta make’em start thinking in order turn off the rage machine.
  5. Don’t make statements. Ask questions. Explaining is veiled dominance. Questions get them thinking.
  6. Start sentences with “I’d like…” not “You are…” If you start with “I” it’s hard to be seen as attacking.
  7. Let them have the last word. Don’t let your ego blow it at the last minute.

The truth about willpower

January 24, 2012

Heard a very interesting interview on Pat Kenny yesterday morning. He was speaking to one of the authors of Willpower – Rediscovering our Greatest Strength by Roy F. Baumeister &  John Tierney. The main points that i learned was as follows

  • willpower is like a muscle. Using it makes it stronger and overusing it can tire it out.
  • If you over exert your willpower muscle in one place in your life it weakens it for other areas. If you’re a goody two-shoes in work you’ll find it hard to resist that chocolate when you get home.
  • Avoiding temptation does not strengthen your willpower muscle, it simple removes the opportunity to practice restraint which weakens the overall strength of your willpower.
  • If you want to effect change in your life tackle one thing at a time. By trying to resist too many things you overexert your will power muscle and increase the likelihood of failure.

You can hear the rest of the interview towards the clicking on the ‘listen back’ button on this page. http://www.rte.ie/radio1/todaywithpatkenny/2012-1-23.html. The interview is towards the end of the 2 hours podcast.

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Make your Resume Sing

July 11, 2011

Set to launch soon Vizualize.me takes takes your boring, vanilla C.V. and transform it into a Feltron-esque personal infographic at the push of a button. Clever, eh!

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Hilarious Religious Tiff

June 19, 2011

On Joanna’s blog you’ll read a very funny series of one liners between a catholic church on one side of the street and a presbyterian one on the other. Well worth a read.

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